Palingate, take 27 1/2

I. The David Letterman-Willow Palin “controversy.” So apparently, instead of attending to the business of Alaska (what a novel concept), Governor Palin was in New York, and they made a family outing to a Yankees game, thus prompting Letterman to joke that Governor Palin’s daughter got knocked up by A-Rod. Lo and behold, a little fact-checking later, we discover that 18-year-old Bristol was not in attendance, but 14-year-old Willow was, raising a question of which daughter Letterman was referring to.

a. Clearly, if he was actually referring to Willow, it was across a line, and the nutcases are eagerly claiming “how could he not have known?” Very easily: it’s called assumptions and poor fact-checking. For the love of God, people, he made a mistake. Unlike others, he admitted it and apologized.

b. Governor Palin has very little room to complain when comedians talk about her family. Contrast her with another example: when Bill Clinton ran in 1992, Chelsea was 13, and the Clintons very deliberately kept her out of the spotlight; they asked the media to respect that, and the media—with a few exceptions from comedians—did just that. Easy, right?

c. Apparently not. Governor Palin has, from day one, thrust her children very much into the spotlight in some of the most egregious ways—this is a woman who has politicized her son’s military service and tried to force Bristol and Levi into a shotgun wedding. Levi’s not even her kid, but it didn’t stop her from forcing him into publicity. As questionable as Letterman’s joke was, Governor Palin brought this on her family.

d. Again, it was a joke! Public figures are subject to comedians. The other butts of jokes—even bad jokes—don’t whine like this.

e. Does this woman have the most sensitive skin in politics? Seriously, she cries foul whenever someone says anything about her! Remember, the relationship between the media and political figures is—theoretically—supposed to be antagonistical. That’s healthy. That’s part of a democratic society. People who thrust themselves in the public spotlight accept that mud will be thrown at them; that’s enshrined in libel and slander laws. If you can’t stand it, go back home. No one—and no one­—else who has the brunt of Letterman’s jokes is complaining. You don’t see A-Rod bitching about it, do you?

f. She seems intent on silencing criticism. That’s not healthy! Towards the end of the elections, she appeared on SNL and joked about yanking their license because they made critical jokes about her—why does it seem like she may not have been joking?

g. As there’s always a punch line, a week ago the nutcases where complaining that President Obama traveled to New York on the public dime. Governor Palin also travels to New York—from a much farther distance—on the public dime. What for it…what for it…where’s the complaints again? Isn’t she from the party that opposes profligate spending?

h. And finally, it was a joke!

II. Since I can’t let it pass without mention, NFL player/thinks-he’s-a-star Donte Stallworth plead guilty yesterday to striking and killing a pedestrian while driving under the influence (.128). The judge gave a hefty imposed sentence, but only executed 30 days, with heavy probation.

a. Having been on both sides of the DUI debate, and being versed in the arguments regarding alcohol’s nullification of criminal intent, this is a shockingly low sentence. I don’t know if this is common in Florida—it may be—but this would not happen here in Minnesota.

b. My hunch—as sports reporters cannot report the law accurately—is that Florida doesn’t have a criminal vehicular homicide statute. CVH is designed specifically to address the relevant hole in common law-based homicide statutes. Under CVH, someone who commits homicide while driving under the influence isn’t treated as severely as regular homicide, but it is far more than the usual DUI statutes (which is essentially what Stallworth got).

c. Let me say this: I seriously doubt he got off because of his “athlete-celebrity” status. I really do think that it’s a hole in Florida law.

d. So rest assured, before the self-indignant fireworks begin, that back home in the northlands, he would be spending a minimum of a year and a day in state prison, and likely far more (3-4 years), with the usual bevy of suspended sentence & heavy probation after release.

III. Would it be right to not mention the Iranian debacle? Probably, yes, since the media is covering it ad nauseum. There’s even been some quality reporting, recognizing that the situation doesn’t fit into the pre-set circles and squares used by Fox News, et. al. But here’s the thing: this may have been the valid result. It is politically and mathematically possible. There is an incredible absence of fact behind any of the allegations. The doctrine of res ipsa loquitur fails when one can provide an entirely innocuous explanation for the result. So what’s the point?

a. We need to wait for the evidence.

b. The Iranian people won’t. Democratic legitimacy is as much about appearance as fact. I don’t expect the results to change, and if the protests don’t die off, I expect the Ayatollah will use a harsher hand. When all is said and done, Khamenei will still be in charge, but the veil of religious infallibility will have been pierced.